The Netherlands, in review

It’s been pretty quiet on here….

After a whirlwind schoolwork and kaas (Dutch for cheese), I’ve realized that I’ve been a bad blog momma. I thought about it all the time, I really did, but between a full school schedule and “trying to experience Europe,” I dropped the ball. So here’s a wrap up of my time in the Nederlands, touching on only the most salient parts of my trip (i.e. food)… the class blog has the low down on the schoolwork part, check it out at citiesonwaternl2014.wordpress.com

FOOD

The best part of every vacation, no? The first week or two in the Netherlands started off a little rocky in this department. I spent the beginnings of my trip in a cloudy state of hangriness (extreme hunger that leads to extreme anger) before getting wise to the ways Dutch Do Dinner.

Lesson 1: Eat early! That whole “10pm European dinner” thing is for the south continent. The northerners, on the other hand, have to make use of their scarce daylight and dine at a reasonable hour. With a full day of touring and classes keeping us out until at least 6pm, we didn’t usually venture out for food until 7 or 8pm. Pretty average time to seek out some eats in good old America, but cause for a lot of hungry tummies in Utrecht… It didn’t help that just finding a suitable place to eat took about an hour in itself. Don’t get me wrong, Utrecht has so many adorable cafes and bars, choosing one is like shooting fish in a barrel. But a restaurant with student-friendly price range is a bit of a unicorn (average plate cost between €14-20). We would trot around from restaurant to restaurant for an eternity, indulging in our pipedream of finding a “one-dollar-sign” unicorn, until finally collapsing in exhaustion into the nearest place we could find… only to look on in horror as the server told us the kitchen was closed. At 9pm. This scenario played out so many times, it was like a bad sitcom. But no one was laughing, we were just hungry.

The number of dining options was overwhelming

Lesson 2: ASK for the dinner menu, especially during happy hour. Springtime was just making her debut right as we arrived in Utrecht, so, naturally, we wanted to enjoy our meals outside at one of the many cafes lining the canal in the city center. While beer was aplenty, the food offerings fell more into the “snack” category than the “meal” category. It was like every restaurant was a tapas restaurant. I do love my snackies, however, nothing but Bavaria and Bitterballen (delicious fried balls of gravy and sausage) for two nights does not constitute proper sustenance. But we were clever, and thought maybe sitting inside would yield more formal dinner service. Wrong again, not clever enough for the Dutch. It wasn’t until we observed another table expressly ask the server for the dinner menu that we discovered the big kid meals, which, as we were soon to find, brought its own set of troubles.

Lesson 3: Have your menu translated. You might think it will be a fun game to play menu roulette, but you’re temping the gods with this one. Some words look similar to English and some you think look similar to English, but really mean something entirely different. The food in the Netherlands is too expensive to be gambling with your dinner. What you think might be a lovely appetizer plate for two to split can quickly turn into a hangry fiasco. It only took one platter of lots and lots raw meat for me to learn this lesson, then I got smart. And cooked food.

Lesson 4: BYO Onions. The food was good, don’t get be wrong, but as a Dutch person told me, the Dutch don’t really do food as hard as their French and German neighbors. They view it more as a process of obtaining nutrients than a passionate source of life and flavor and happiness. I frequently found myself wanting to bring my own garlic and spice kit to restaurants and dress up my grub a little before digging in. The whole time, I kept thinking it was the lack of garlic in the food that made it taste so bland to me, but when I got to Germany and devoured a steaming plate of bratwurst and potatoes in a cozy brauhaus, I realized what I was really missing… Onions. A favorite lunch spot we frequented was a tiny gyro shack under the Dom Tower in the city center. Fast, cheap, and oh-so-flavorful (and quite messy). And the best part—packed with onions and garlic. Don’t forget the extra napkins. And the breath mints.

KOFFIE

While the dining in Dutchland was tricky to navigate, drinking koffie was such a treat. At every, literally every office or firm we visited, there was a spread waiting for us, and I mean a SPREAD. Piping hot koffie (coffee), thee (tea), and the best part…. the goodies. The stroopwafels (thin waffle sandwich cookie with caramel in the center). The speckulas (gingerbread/graham cracker-like cookies with windmills on them). The shortbread. The chocolates. Oooooh the goodies. Even at a café or restaurant, the koffie was always served with a goodie.

Inside a tiny mug and saucer with a tiny spoon, awaits a fresh Americano under a layer of creamy foam. Inhale, ahhhhh caffeine. anticipation. Don’t take a sip yet, set the stroopwafel over the mug to collect the rising steam. When the caramel inside is melted, it’s time. Break it apart and soak up the koffie and foam. Repeat. Eat many stroops. Perfection.

It was a ritual, and it was wonderful.

BIKES

By the end of my stay in Utrecht, I was beginning to think that the town was really inhabited by a teaming population of bicycles that allowed humans to occasionally occupy their domain. The Dutch have their multimodal situation down, there is not a single street in that country without a bike on it. Even the suburban areas had incredibly extensive and well-connected bike routes complete with beautiful Dutch businesspeople cycling to work in their slacks.

Motorbikes are at the top of the food chain.

Navigating the streets as a pedestrian, however, was quite a different story. The daily walk from the hostel to the train station was quite the ordeal. If there even was a sidewalk (which ranged anywhere from 2’ to 10’), it was clogged with parked bikes. Jump into the street to dodge the parked bikes then DING DING the little fairy bell of death chimes from behind you as a tall Dutch goddess with perfect posture in a mini skirt and heels speeds past on a cruiser. There are traffic lights in Utrecht, but I think I only saw them actually blinking and directing traffic half the time (the other half of the time it’s probably taking a coffee pause). Tear ass across the five-point intersection at Neude Square, narrowly miss being flattened by a bus. Make it to a sidewalk, safety… OH GOD A MOTORBIKE. The rumble of those soul-stealing engines still ignites sheer panic in my chest.

The Netherlands was lovely. Organized, controlled, quiet, green. The people were friendly, but with a typical air of Scandinavian reservation. I have to say, we were spoiled by the openness and tremendous kindness of the Portuguese, even as we were butchering their language. But a welcoming country with an amazing public transportation system, scenic villages crisscrossed by canals, tranquil sheep pastures under a broad sky, and a bold, innovative flavor for design. It was an amazing place to live and an exciting place to study. I will miss stupidly beautiful, well-dressed Dutch people waiting orderly for every passenger to exit the train before beginning to pile on, leaving more than enough personal space. And the infinite free wifi. Farewell, Netherlands, see you in 2030.